Understanding Religious Narcissism and Its Manipulative Tactics

Narcissists thrive on admiration and control, and this need becomes even more insidious when it involves a religious narcissist. Much like a drug addict seeking their next fix, a narcissist seeks “narcissistic supply” to feed their sense of superiority and self-importance. In the case of a religious narcissist, especially the covert ones, their supply comes from admiration disguised in spirituality. In this article, we will dive into how religious narcissists use spiritual camouflage to pursue their narcissistic supply and manipulate others under the guise of piety.

What is Narcissistic Supply for a Religious Narcissist?

Narcissistic supply refers to the attention, admiration, and validation that narcissists crave. For religious narcissists, this supply often takes the form of admiration from fellow believers, congregants, or followers. However, unlike a genuine leader who seeks to serve God and others, a religious narcissist exploits spirituality for self-glorification. Their focus is not on loving others or serving humbly, but on ensuring their personal supply of praise and control remains constant.
The covert religious narcissist can be particularly dangerous because they often present themselves as deeply spiritual and self-sacrificing. They may seem devout, constantly talking about their relationship with God and their good deeds, but underneath this veneer is a relentless drive to maintain their superiority.

The Traits of a Religious Narcissist

A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) must exhibit at least five of these traits: – Grandiosity, or an exaggerated sense of self-importance – Preoccupation with beauty, success, power, or ideal love – Belief that they are special and unique – A constant need for admiration – A sense of entitlement – Exploitation of others – Lack of empathy – Envy of others or the belief that others envy them – Arrogance and pride
Religious narcissists use their positions in spiritual communities to feed their addiction to admiration. They often present themselves as spiritual leaders, teachers, or prophets but have no genuine concern for the well-being of others.

How Do Religious Narcissists Pursue Their Narcissistic Supply?

A religious narcissist’s pursuit of supply can be broken into two main strategies: through their outward appearance of piety and through covert narcissistic abuse.

1. Creating an Image of Spiritual Superiority

Religious narcissists often present an image of godliness, constantly showcasing how much they pray, fast, or serve. They use these outward displays of spirituality to seek admiration and respect from others. If someone constantly emphasizes how much they give, how devout they are, or how close they are to God, it can be a red flag. Their motive is not to serve God but to elevate their own status.
These individuals will often surround themselves with followers who admire them uncritically. They create a buffer around themselves, insulating themselves from any person who might challenge their behavior or question their motives. While they may use sound teachings, their actions betray the very principles they claim to uphold.

2. Aggressive Pursuit of Supply through Narcissistic Abuse

When admiration is not forthcoming, or when those close to them see through the facade, a religious narcissist will turn to more aggressive tactics. This often involves emotional or spiritual abuse, where they manipulate those around them by twisting scripture or using guilt.
A common tactic is to weaponize their spiritual position to control others. For instance, they may demand submission from others while ignoring their own responsibilities as leaders. A religious narcissist might preach about the importance of honoring spiritual leaders but fail to exhibit humility or servant leadership.

Twisting Doctrine to Suit Their Needs

One of the most dangerous aspects of a religious narcissist is their ability to twist doctrine to justify their actions. They often focus on selective teachings from the Bible that support their sense of superiority. For example, a male narcissist may focus heavily on the concept of headship in marriage, demanding absolute control over his spouse, while ignoring the scriptural call for husbands to love their wives sacrificially.
Similarly, a female religious narcissist might claim to have spiritual gifts, using this as a tool to manipulate others. Like the biblical Jezebel, she may demand respect and control under the guise of spiritual authority. These narcissists are adept at using spiritual language to justify their abusive behavior.

The Danger of Double Standards

Religious narcissists often maintain double standards—one set of rules for others and another for themselves. They expect forgiveness from others but rarely extend the same grace. They hold others to impossible standards while excusing their own faults. This selective application of scripture allows them to maintain control and avoid accountability.

Examples of Narcissistic Spiritual Abuse

A religious narcissist may use various manipulative tactics to maintain control. Here are a few examples: – **Weaponizing Scripture**: A narcissist may use stories from the Bible, especially the Old Testament, to justify their control and punishment of others. They often emphasize examples of God’s judgment while ignoring passages about God’s love and compassion. – **Replacing God**: Instead of pointing others toward a personal relationship with God, they force people to idolize them. The relationship becomes about serving the narcissist rather than serving God. – **Using Rules Over Love**: Religious narcissists focus heavily on performance, rules, and obedience. They neglect the central tenet of Christian faith, which is love.

God’s Response to Spiritual Narcissists

The Bible speaks about false shepherds—those who exploit their flock for personal gain. In Ezekiel 34, God condemns such leaders for failing to care for their flock and for feeding themselves at the expense of others. God declares that He will rescue His sheep from these corrupt shepherds, ensuring justice is served.
A religious narcissist may deceive those around them, but God is never fooled. He sees through their spiritual camouflage and will hold them accountable for their actions. Those who abuse their spiritual authority will face consequences in due time.

Conclusion: Be Aware and Stand Firm

Religious narcissists can be particularly dangerous because they hide their manipulation behind a spiritual front. However, it’s crucial to stay discerning and aware. Look for patterns of behavior that suggest the person is more interested in admiration than in genuine service to God.
If you encounter someone who uses spirituality to control or manipulate, it’s important to remember that God is not deceived. In time, He will deal with those who abuse their spiritual position. For now, stand firm in your faith, seek truth, and avoid becoming entangled in their web of deceit.
For more insight into this topic, watch my video here: How They Pursue Narcissistic Supply through a Religious Camouflage.