Introduction: Narcissists and Their Lack of Empathy

When you’re sick, one of the times you’re most vulnerable, having support is crucial. For most people, illness triggers empathy and care, but that’s not the case with narcissists. If you’ve ever been in a relationship with one, you may have noticed that their reactions to your sickness are unsettling and even harmful. This article will explore five surprising and troubling ways narcissists handle your illness, revealing their lack of empathy and self-centered behavior.

1. Narcissists Act Sicker Than You

One of the most frustrating ways narcissists respond to your sickness is by acting like they are more ill than you. It doesn’t matter if you have the flu or something more serious; as soon as you mention your discomfort, they claim they feel worse. This behavior serves two purposes. First, it redirects attention back to them, which is essential for narcissists who constantly need to be the center of attention. Second, it absolves them of any responsibility to care for you because they’ve positioned themselves as the more afflicted party.
Imagine you’re stuck in bed with a fever, feeling weak and exhausted. Instead of offering support, the narcissist will complain about feeling unwell too—perhaps even demanding that you take care of them. This tactic is common among narcissists, as it diverts the focus away from your needs and back to theirs.

2. Shaming You for Being Sick

Another disturbing behavior is how narcissists often shame you for getting sick. They might accuse you of being weak, or even imply that you’re at fault for your illness. For example, they might say something like, “If you weren’t so weak, you wouldn’t get sick so often,” or, “It’s your fault for not taking better care of yourself.” These comments are not only hurtful but completely unjustified. No one chooses to get sick, and being shamed for it adds unnecessary emotional stress.
Narcissists shame others to assert their superiority. In their minds, they are invincible, and by belittling your illness, they reinforce their perceived dominance. This lack of compassion can be devastating, especially when you’re already feeling physically and emotionally vulnerable.

3. Completely Ignoring Your Needs

One of the most telling signs of a narcissist’s selfishness is how they may completely ignore you when you’re sick. Narcissists have little interest in anyone’s needs but their own, and your illness doesn’t fit into their agenda. Rather than offering to help, they act as if nothing has changed. You could be lying in bed, unable to get up, and they’ll casually leave the house, perhaps mentioning they’re going out to get something for themselves—without a second thought about your well-being.
This behavior stems from their inability to empathize with others. Narcissists don’t see your illness as a reason to be caring or attentive; instead, it’s an inconvenience to their routine. This disregard can be incredibly painful because it highlights just how little they value your needs.

4. Viewing Your Sickness as an Attack on Them

Perhaps one of the most bizarre reactions is when narcissists interpret your illness as an attack on them. They behave as though your being sick is something you’re doing to inconvenience them. They might even accuse you of exaggerating your symptoms or pretending to be ill just to ruin their day. The narcissist’s immediate response to your sickness is annoyance, as though your inability to cater to their needs is a personal affront.
This response often leaves you in a position where you feel compelled to prove that you’re genuinely ill. You find yourself trying to justify your condition, which is exhausting and absurd. Narcissists may question why you can’t just “push through” and may show little sympathy, further highlighting their self-centered mindset.

5. Abandoning You When You Need Them Most

Finally, one of the most extreme reactions a narcissist may have is to simply leave. When your illness becomes too much for them to handle, or when they feel like it’s diverting too much attention away from them, they might disappear altogether. Whether it’s physically leaving the house or emotionally distancing themselves, this reaction underscores the narcissist’s complete lack of empathy.
They might claim they have “things to do” or say they can’t handle the situation, leaving you to fend for yourself in your time of need. The truth is, narcissists struggle when they are not the focus of the relationship. If they can’t make your illness about them, they simply won’t engage. And while they may leave when you’re sick, they often return once they believe you’re back to being “useful” again, expecting things to return to normal without any acknowledgment of their abandonment.

Conclusion: The Narcissist’s True Nature Revealed

Dealing with a narcissist when you’re sick exposes their true lack of empathy and self-absorption. Instead of offering care, they might compete with you for attention, shame you for your vulnerability, or simply ignore your needs. These reactions serve as glaring red flags in any relationship. I’ve heard from many people who have experienced similar treatment, and it’s important to recognize that these behaviors are not normal. If you’re curious to learn more about how narcissists handle illness and other challenging situations, I recommend watching this insightful video: 5 Ways a Narcissist Treats You When You’re Sick.