Understanding Gaslighting: What It Is and How God Responds

Gaslighting is one of the most harmful forms of emotional manipulation, designed to make the victim question their reality and judgment. Coined from the 1944 movie *Gaslight*, the term refers to tactics used by narcissists and manipulators to control others by distorting their perception of truth. But gaslighting is not new; it has existed for centuries, with examples found throughout the Bible. Today, we will explore how God deals with gaslighters, focusing on a powerful story from the Bible: the account of King Saul, a notable gaslighter.
By examining this story, we hope to encourage you that God sees through the manipulation of gaslighters and holds them accountable. Gaslighters may try to impose their version of reality on you, but God always operates in truth, and His reality prevails.

What Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is the act of imposing a false reality on someone to make them doubt their own judgment. This manipulation is particularly dangerous because it creates confusion and self-doubt in the victim. Narcissists often use gaslighting to gain control and make their victims dependent on them. A gaslighter’s goal is to make you question your ability to think and perceive correctly, which makes you reliant on them for clarity.
The subtle nature of gaslighting makes it difficult to identify at first. The gaslighter may appear charming and confident, publicly portraying themselves as a wonderful person. Yet, behind closed doors, they manipulate, lie, and control. This duality makes it challenging for victims to recognize the abuse. Gaslighters thrive on creating an illusion, making it seem as if the victim is the problem.

Why Do People Gaslight?

Gaslighters, particularly narcissists, manipulate to maintain power and control. Their objective is to create a reality where they are always in control and admired, while their victims become uncertain of their own perceptions. In extreme cases, the gaslighter becomes so skilled in their manipulation that they begin to believe their own lies.
Gaslighting often stems from deep insecurity and a need for validation. A gaslighter will go to great lengths to maintain an image of superiority and control, even if it means distorting reality and manipulating those around them.

Biblical Example: King Saul as a Gaslighter

A well-known example of gaslighting in the Bible is the story of King Saul in 1 Samuel 15. Saul was given clear instructions by God to destroy everything in a battle against the Amalekites. God told Saul to leave nothing behind—men, women, children, animals—everything was to be destroyed. However, Saul disobeyed God’s command and spared King Agag and the best livestock.
When Samuel, God’s prophet, confronted Saul about his disobedience, Saul immediately responded by saying, “I have performed the commandment of the Lord” (1 Samuel 15:13). This is a classic example of gaslighting—Saul knew he had not followed God’s instructions, yet he attempted to present an alternate reality where he was obedient. He even tried to justify his actions by claiming the soldiers had taken the animals to offer sacrifices to God.

The Two Realities

Saul’s behavior showcases how gaslighters often live in two realities: their version of events and the truth. While God and Samuel were grieved over Saul’s disobedience, Saul believed he had done nothing wrong and even erected a monument in his own honor. This highlights the extent to which gaslighters can deceive themselves and others.
When confronted by Samuel, Saul continued to shift the blame, saying, “The soldiers took sheep and cattle from the plunder” (1 Samuel 15:21). Instead of owning up to his disobedience, he tried to justify his actions and place the responsibility on others. Saul’s gaslighting was an attempt to manipulate Samuel and avoid the consequences of his rebellion.

How God Deals with Gaslighters

God does not tolerate gaslighting or any form of manipulation. He sees through all lies and holds people accountable for their actions. In the case of Saul, God’s response was clear: “I regret that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instructions” (1 Samuel 15:11). Despite Saul’s attempts to manipulate the situation, God’s judgment remained firm.
Gaslighting may work on humans, but it never works on God. God’s reality is absolute, and He deals with people based on truth, not the false reality they try to create. No matter how much a gaslighter distorts the truth, they cannot escape God’s justice.

The Consequences for Saul

Saul’s gaslighting and disobedience led to severe consequences. Samuel informed Saul that God had rejected him as king. Even though Saul eventually admitted his sin, his concern was more about preserving his image than genuinely repenting. Saul asked Samuel to honor him before the elders, showing that his priority was still his reputation rather than making things right with God.
This shows a key trait of gaslighters—they are more concerned with appearances and maintaining control than with genuine repentance or change. In the end, Saul’s continued manipulation and rebellion led to his downfall.

Lessons for Dealing with Gaslighters

From Saul’s story, we can learn how to respond to gaslighters in our own lives. Here are a few key lessons:

1. Stand Firm in Your Reality

Gaslighters want to make you doubt your reality. Like Samuel, you need to stand firm in the truth, even when someone tries to manipulate the situation. Remember that God’s truth always prevails, and you have the ability to discern what is real.

2. Trust That God Sees Everything

Even when it feels like a gaslighter is getting away with their manipulation, trust that God sees everything. He knows the truth and will hold the gaslighter accountable for their actions. In Isaiah 40:8, it says, “The grass withers, the flowers fade, but the word of our God will stand forever.” God’s truth endures, no matter how much someone tries to distort it.

3. Let God Deal with the Gaslighter

It is not always your role to confront or expose a gaslighter. In some cases, doing so may even put you in danger. Instead, entrust the situation to God, knowing that He will deal with the gaslighter in His time. As seen with Saul, God’s judgment is sure, and He will address manipulation and deceit.

Conclusion: God’s Truth vs. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a manipulative and destructive tactic, but it will never succeed in the eyes of God. Like Saul, gaslighters may try to twist reality and deceive those around them, but God’s truth cannot be altered. He sees through every lie and holds people accountable for their actions.
If you are dealing with a gaslighter, take comfort in knowing that God is on your side. Stand firm in the truth, and trust that He will deal with the gaslighter in His way. God’s reality will always triumph over deception.
To learn more about this topic, watch my video here: How God Deals with a Gaslighter.